Curriculum - Health Sciences - Omphaloskepsis (Navel Gazing) [Omphaloskepsis (Navel Gazing)]

If narcissism is a skill you need to learn (e.g., because you're seeking a career in politics, acting, or aggressive litigation), but without the mental health baggage of untamed arrogance that it typically entails, as long as you are not Adam or Eve from Christianity this course provides students with important individualized intellectual toolsets necessary for keeping Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) in check by teaching:

  • Clique-formation and how to discern between "innies" and "outies"
  • Striking a functional balance between self-absorption that borders on psychopathy and feigning an interest in others
  • The art of extolling vague promises that satisfy the diverse needs and wants of almost any group or audience
  • Various techniques for examining your own navel, such as "mirroring" and flexibility exercises for upper-back and neck health

Nearly every student who has ever attended these classes has categorically denied staring longingly at oceans on calm, sunny days while contemplating the awe-inspiring vastness of the cosmos when they were supposed to be working.